Naruto Uzumaki, Ace Attorney
by The Conquerors
Summary: One-shot: When Sasuke is murdered, there's only ONE attorney you can call. His name is Naruto Uzumaki, Ace Attorney. BELIEVE IT! Has character death and bashing
1. First Case

**Disclaimer: We do not own Phoenix Wright or Naruto**

Everyone in the village of Konoha sat in the Hokage's court room and looked at the sight in front of them. Sitting on the large podium in the front of the room was the Third Hokage acting as the judge for this case. On the left side of the courtroom sitting at his desk in an orange suit holding his court paper was Naruto Uzumaki Ace Attorney™ believe it!

Most would think that Naruto would be destined to be ninja what with his hyper-activity and agile speed,but fate had different plans for him. You see, Naruto failed his Genin Exam (again). While he was sulking, he came upon a strange tablet (Nintendo DS) that ran on mystical energy (Electricity). Activating the strange tablet, Naruto learned the secrets of a man named Phoenix Wright. Guided by his words and great powers of observation, he became Konoha's greatest (Only) lawyer.

Sitting at in a slightly smaller podium next to the Hokage's was Sakura Haruno. She was was being tried for being the possible murderer if Sasuke Uchiha. She was defending herself since Naruto was the only lawyer in Konoha, and he was against her.

The Hokage called the court to order. After the opening disclaimer from Sakura where she pleaded not guilty, Naruto stood up.

"Can you tell me what it is you saw, Miss Haruno?"

"Well, when I walked in, I saw Sasuke laying on his bed. Recently, he was getting more emo and wanted more power to kill his brother. When I saw him lying there, I thought he was resting from training. So I went into the kitchen to make him some ramen for when he woke up."

"So you never thought he was dead?" asked the Hokage.

"No, the thought never crossed my mind." As she said this, Hinata entered, breathing heavily and holding a picture. She handed it to Naruto, who looked at it quizzically before taking the papers and tapping them with his hands before slamming them down on his desk.

"OBJECTION, BELIEVE IT!" shouted Naruto. Everyone was shocked as his voice boomed throughout the courtroom.

"So, Sakura. You honestly didn't believe he was dead?"

Nonchalantly, Sakura said, "Yes."

"THEN HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN THIS?" Naruto held up the picture Hinata gave him for all to see. The Hokage and assembled citizens gasped in horror. Everyone saw a picture of Sasuke laying in his bed. Apart from a few noticeable things, he looked perfectly healthy.

"W-what is the meaning of this?" the Hokage asked.

"I'm glad you asked! If you look at this picture, you will notice that Sasuke's limbs are in fact tied to the bed posts. Now, this is not normal behavior for Sasuke. I would like to draw your attention to 2 things: First, he happens to be naked. Second, there appears to be a giant serrated blade driven through his solar plexius. In addition to these two things, there is an expression of pain on his face, which makes us believe that whatever happened to him was done so over a long period of time. How do you explain THIS, Miss Haruno?"

"I...well...you see..." Sakura stammered.

"A person who saw this would automatically think 'Oh no, he's dead!'. They would NOT nonchalantly go to prepare ramen for a corpse. This means that Sakura's testimony that we have listened to has been nothing but a lie!" he said epically. Sakura recoiled in pain from the shockwaves of truth dripping from Naruto's words.

"In addition, is it true that Sasuke told you that he would never love you? Therefore giving you a perfect motivation for you to kill him? The truth of the matter is..."

Here Naruto paused for breath, then slammed one hand on his desk and pointed the other at Sakura.

"ALL OF THE EVIDENCE SAYS THAT YOU KILLED HIM!"

Sakura tried to compose herself, but only sweated bullets at her situation. All that came out of her mouth was "N-n-n !"

The deed was done. The Hokage slammed his gavel and the Death Sentence was placed.

Since then, the villagers have treated Naruto with far more respect. As they learned, he was more powerful than Akatsuki, the Hokage, and the Nine-Tailed Fox combined.

He was THE LAWYER!

BELIEVE IT!

**AN: This is the end result of two friends who have seen too many Internet Memes with too much time on their hands, too much Hawaiian Punch, and too many cookies.**

**Z and C hope you enjoyed the insanity.**


	2. All That Remains

We own Nothing

**You Asked for it, so Here is is.**

Chapter 2

All That Remains

SS

"OBJECTION!"

That word had been heard many times over the past couple of years. Ever since the first case, Naruto Uzumaki, Ace Attorney, had been called for hundreds of other cases. All of which he won. However, none of his cases had been so saddening.

Hiruzen Sarutobi, Third Hokage, was dead. Killed by his former student Orochimaru, the old Hokage had died fighting for his village a few months ago. His second successor, Tsunade, discovered his Last Will and Testament buried under the copious amounts of paperwork on the Hokage desk.

A will reading was called. Naruto Uzumaki was elected to read the Will of the old Hokage. Present for the will reading was Kakashi Hatake, Koharu Utatane. Sakura Haruno, Sasuke Uchiha, and Orochimaru.

The last three were rather controversial. Sakura was let out of ja_and_il temporarily for the event. Orochimaru was temporarily allowed inside. As a bonus he used the Summoning: Impure World Resurrection Technique on a random underling and revived Sasuke for the event. However, he was unable to remove the giant sword sticking out of his chest.

Naruto called the Reading to order. Opening the will, he tapped the papers a couple of times and began to read.

_'I, Hiruzen Sarutobi, being sound in body and mind, hereby divide my estate and remaining assets as follows. _

_'To Sakura Haruno and Sasuke Uchiha-'_

Sakura had spent most of the preceding reading crying her eyes out, with the impaled Sasuke standing next to her. Now Sasuke nudged her and said, "He mentioned us." To which Sakura quickly perked up and stopped crying.

_'For being the biggest couple of brats in this god-forsaken village in the middle of no-where and for crying crocodile tears when the littlest thing went wrong, in addition to crying at my current death for obvious reasons, I, the Third Hokage, bequeath to Sakura, a boot to the head.'_

"Wha-OW!"

_'And one for the impaled emo, Sasuke.'_

"Ow!"

Two back rubber boots, seemingly came from out of nowhere with enough force to knock Sakura and Sasuke down. The two came back up rubbing the new bruises on their heads, the boots were apparently filled with sand.

_'To Kakashi Hatake, the jonin sensei who has never worked an honest days work in his life, I bequeath-'_

"I don't want a boot to the head!" yelled Kakashi, who then ducked under the table where they were all seated.

_'-My entire collection of the Icha Icha series by my student Jiraiya.'_

Kakashi popped out from under the table. "Really?" he asked in a hopeful voice. Maybe all those day having put up with and training those brats was worth it.

_'Just joking. Its actually a boot to the head.'_

"AHH!"

'_And another for Sakura and the impaled emo.'  
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"Ahh!" "Ow!"

"Where's he getting these from?" Angrily questioned Sakura before getting clocked by another sand filled boot to her extremely large forehead.

_'To my former teammate, Koharu Utatane, who cared for me when I was sick, who aided me in battle, and who has been my advisor for all these years-  
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"Oh it was nothing!" She said while smiling widely. Ever since her former team mate had become Hokage she had been daydreaming about this moment when his death would bring the material wealth she desired-

_'And who plotted behind my back with Homura and Danzo-'_

"Yes I-what!"

-and then having all of that come crashing down in a mental flaming mess.

_'-I bequeath... another boot to the head."_

"ARRGH!"

_'And another for Kakashi the lazy teacher.'_

"Ahh!"

'_And another for Sakura and the impaled emo.'_

"OW!" "Arrgh!"

_'To my traitorous ex-student Orochimaru-'_

"Oh, this is so predictable." grumbled the Snake Sannin. He didn't even know why he even bothered to show up in the first place.

_'-I bequeath a boot to the head.'_

"Ahh!"

_'Also, to the cat Tora, currently in the possession of the Fire Daimyo's wife, I bequeath my entire, vast... boot to the head.'_

From outside, there was a thunk and a loud "MEEOOOWWW!" A very angry cat with a violet bow, began to claw the face off of the nearest ninja.

_'And another for my former teammate.'_

"Ow!"

'_And another for Sakura and the impaled emo.'_

"Arrgh!" "Ahh!"

_'And to the good lawyer who is reading this, I bequeath NOT a boot to the head, but a rabid fox to be placed directly into his pants at the first opportunity.'_

Naruto reached down and picked up the aforementioned rabid fox and placed it into his pants. Everyone including those have recied boots to the head, were impressed with Naruto for filling out his duty to the letter.

"_Finally-'_ "OW!" _'I leave 100 grand-'_ "OH THE PAIN!"_ '-to the citizens of Wave Country so they can-' _"IT'S ON MY SHIN!" _'-finally afford to move somewhere nice!'_ "AHH!"

Sakura, nursing a bruise on her forehead, asked, "Is that it?"

Naruto, whose wounds were being healed by the fox sealed within him, said, "No actually there is something else."

_'And to everyone-'_

"EVERYONE DUCK!" shouted Kakashi.

_'-I leave a lifetimes supply of ice cream.'_

Those gathered slowly stuck their head back up.

"What?"

"Ice cream?!"

"What kind?"

_'The flavor is... boot to the head.'_

There was a resounding chorus of pain and anguish.

**AN: Conquerors Z and C have heard your requests. Back by Popular Demand, This is the next Tale of Naruto Uzumaki, Ace Attorney.**

**BELIEVE IT!**

**I can't believe I just Wrote that. So thus is another chapter in the saga of the Demon Lawyer (though there isn't much Difference in actual lawyers).  
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**We have Received many messages asking if We would Continue this. After a Conference with Conqueror C, We decided to Continue. For the Immediate future, this is the Last chapter of Naruto Uzumaki, Ace Attorney. If an Idea strikes us, we shall Continue.  
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**Thank You and we hope this satisfies your Hunger.  
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